But the mountain shall be thine

I listened to one of my favorite songs on the drive back to Georgia entitled "East to West" by Casting Crowns. the message is that God has forgiven me of my sins and has removed them from my life as though i have never sinned. There is no doubt that God has blessed me with a passion to facilitate and lead young people to serve God and be true worshippers. for the past six months i have exhausted every means available to get a career going in information systems to no avail. God has been patiently waiting with open arms to give me the true desires of my heart and minister again.

the devil has been crushing my spirits over the past few days but i'm now realizing that it's been within God's plan. it's only when the rose petals have been crushed that they smell the sweetest. i may not ever be accepted within the circle of some churches because of my fall and that's ok. there's plenty of churches that overflows with God's Grace that are looking for workers for the harvest. when Jesus asked the desciples if they had caught any fish, they said no... it was then that Jesus said, "cast your nets on the other side of the ship". when they had done this, their nets were filled.

there's another mountain top waiting for me and it's my prerogative (an exclusive right or priviledge held by a person or group of people) to get back on top. Joshua 17:14-18 "But the mountain shall be thine"

Hope is a Powerful Thing

David, a man after God's own heart wrote these words... Psalm 42:5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

He was at the bottom on more than one occassion but in this passage he is encouraging himself to continue holding on to God. His soul was sad and he felt as though a sword had pierced his heart but with "hope" he was able to praise God in spite of his sadness. and as he praised the Lord, his contenance was automatically lifted... he repeated his words again in verse 11 and one more time in the next chapter.

i sat down to write in my journal because it makes me feel good to write but i try real hard to only write uplifting things. i've been sitting here looking at a blank screen until i remembered how David was a man just like me. he had times when he was on the mountain and also times when he longed to be up there in the presence of God. this reminds me of one of my favorite passages of scripture. it always reminds me that God is listening.

II Samuel 22:1-10 And David spake unto the LORD the words of this song in the day that the LORD had delivered him out of the hand of all his enemies, and out of the hand of Saul. And he said, The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence. I will call on the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies. When the waves of death compassed me, the floods of ungodly men made me afraid; The sorrows of hell compassed me about; the snares of death prevented me; In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God: and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry did enter into his ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations of heaven moved and shook, because he was wroth. There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it. He bowed the heavens also, and came down; and darkness was under his feet.

I miss being in the position of serving God and my sorrow sometimes surrounds me and makes me feel like david. It has been unbearable for me to be away from the ones I love but it was necessary for me to get my feet back on the ground. I've dissappointed a lot of people and most of all I've dissappointed myself. God has picked up my broken pieces and has been working on a master plan of putting me back together. i used to build card castles during idle time at school. at first it seemed impossible but as my patience grew, my ability to build grew. God made me into a patient man a long time ago but during the past couple of years he has taught me more about patience than i have ever known.

i don't know how He can fix my situation, but i just know He can. somedays it seems as though i can feel my ship about to go under and if i look into my future with my understanding it overwhelms me to think about surviving in life, much less supporting a family. but hope is a powerful thing and with hope in God, i will continue to praise God and as I praise Him it automatically lifts my spirit leads back to the mountain into His presence ;-)

The Desires of Our Heart

i think all i've ever really wanted is to be loved. God has shown over and over that He loves me beyond anything i could ever say. He has given me three boys that make me feel like superman. chris, enoch, and noah... wow, thanks God for giving me more love than i could ever dream of having. God loves us and wants to give us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.) i feel as though God has washed away all my sins and has made me a brand new person. i've never been perfect but God has had His hand on me since I was a boy. and as for the devil, his efforts has been minimal until a few years ago. i have caused a lot of suffering from falling into the snares of the flesh but God has rescued me and has plans for my life still yet. i have a lot of love to share and i'm looking forward to embracing more happiness and love than i have ever experienced.

when we think we have seen it all, God has a way of showing up and giving us more than we could ever imagine possible. of course we are not worthy of this kind of love, but that is just who He is... He is a God that desires to give us good things... "the desires of our heart"

my life seems like a dream

there are days when i can hardly believe how my life has turned out but it is what it is and its my job to turn the page and thank God for loving me in spite of my failures. God has a unique way of bringing beautiful things out of our chaotic lives. He has given me a beautiful little boy that can make a sound like a chicken makes my world go round, He has brought me back to a place where I enjoyed living and I believe He will give me the desires of my heart. its ok for my life to seem like a dream, i like having good dreams and i have a good feeling that my life is about to be on top of a mountain. and when it happens, i will definitely give God all the glory ;-)

Career Change is Coming

i have a good feeling that God is about to bring good things my way. i've been applying for IT jobs as well as jobs that would utilize my bachelor's degree for sometime now. last week i had an interview with Heritage First Bank and have a follow-up interview this thursday. also had several other options that is beginning to open up. i'm being considered for a supervisor position at mt vernon mills. i applied for IT positions at Floyd Medical, Harbin Clinic, and Darlington School. so anyways, i'm feeing much better about my career and know that God has good things in store for those who wait on Him. if there's one thing He has taught me, its the fact that it does not pay to get in a hurry, we must be patient and wait for Him to unveil His plan for our lives.