My life crashed a few years ago when I allowed myself to get confused about where I was standing. I thought I was on solid ground and all the while I was drifting out to sea. Paul said, I Corinthians 9:27 But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. All the while that God was blessing me in the ministry that He so gracefully gave me, I was involved in a great battle of my soul, mind, and body. Someone once told me that mountains are not always diminished by earthquakes but in more cases they eroded over time by wind, rain, and the sands of time. It's almost like the devil continually throws pebbles at you, not enough to knock you down but just minor damage that you overlook and say to yourself, well, is that all you got, i'm still standing, still preaching, still praying. little do we understand that this minor damage is his masterplan to attack us little by little eroding away the mountain that God has blessed us to preserve and maintain.
All of a sudden, we shake ourselves like Samson and understand that we have lost the source of power that allows us to do great things for God. We shake ourselves again and again until we lose all hope of ever being that person who we were. It's a time of soul searching and it's very heart wrenching to look back at how many things we traded away during our time when we were out at sea. It reminds me of when Paul was on the ship in the midst of a hurricane, he said in Acts 27:19 ...we cast out with our own hands the tackling of the ship. sometimes in order for us to say alive, we have to cast out everything we own. it's a terrible feeling to be at sea, in the dark, in the storm, without hope, and now without anything but the clothes on our back. but these men were assured by Paul saying that he had heard from God and God had promised that He would save them. hmm.. guess i needed to write a few lines huh?
spent $350 dollars last week on getting my truck fixed. i didn't like that but God blessed me with some overtime hours at work that will help me get caught back up a little. I'm getting to work some overtime hours in the kitchen and i have to say it is truly refreshing to be in the company of such a great team that Eric has in the kitchen staff. My first day was awesome, he let me do prep work involving preparing several hundred pieces of french toast, bacon, and sausage. then i helped prepare 120 salads. tonight i worked again doing prepwork and got to work with a knife... woo hooo! yeah it felt really nice. i sliced and diced my way through cucumbers, tomatoes, and cilantro.
last year i started working in the grounds department, for the past few months i've been working in the IT department, and now i'm beginning to get to work some in the kitchen. it's all good, and my desire is to become a MOD. don't know what God has for me but it would be wonderful to work here and live on campus. It's ok to dream big because God can do anything and for now, besides having a family, my dream is to work here and live here.
planning on going to alabama this coming weekend to see my beautiful little boy. he's almost two and i love him "this much!" (arms stretched out as far as i can reach)
