When God is in View

when God is in view, nothing else really matters. Peter saw Jesus and even though he was in the midst of a raging storm, he walked on water. as long as he kept Jesus in view, he was above the water. i can't see my future but God is in view and i've known God for a long time. i am completely satisfied in His care. He has a perfect record and has never made a bad decision. i know He plans to bless me and those that i care about. so i am looking up and looking ahead to whatever He has for me.

a friend of mine told the story about a cartoon clipping he saw. in the first picture was an egg beginning to hatch. the next picture, the little chick had pecked his way out of the shell and stretching his legs. the next picture showed the little chick in the midst of chaos. the next couple of pictures showed him looking to the right and then to the left, before crawling back inside the empty shell and closing in where he had pecked his way out. the moral of this story is that there was one place the little chick failed to look and that was up. when we look up, that is where we will always find our help. Psalm 121:1

God has always loved me and in His Divine mercies He has always surrounded me with people that love me. I am grateful to be where I am. I am thankful for what I have been given. I am hopeful for what the next few months will bring because my heart has been stirred with God's never failing promises.

now let me show you what i can do

nothing wrong with dreamin big... i think about that a lot. God has better things in store for us than we could ever imagine. He wants to bless us more than we want to be blessed. when we figure out that its only when we fully submit our heart, our faith, and our will to Him, that he will step in and say, "Now let me show you what I can do".

my noah will be 2 years old next month on October 18th. its been a little over a year since we lived together and believe me, its been the hardest thing i've ever done. it didn't seem like the right thing at the time, nor has it felt right being away from him, but i know God has a greater plan for me, for terrie, and for noah.

me and Noah took a trip over to mississippi this past weekend and stopped in at chick fil a for a little something to eat and some play time. he is so lovable and i am so blessed. every day that i have with noah is father's day for me.

is it just me being a dad or isn't he the most beautiful little boy in the world! he is such an instrument of God's love and Grace. there's nothing like a good dose of playing with Noah that makes you feel wonderful!

Submitting my will to God

I love it when I'm in the presence of God. Its easy to get sidetracked trying to figure out God's will for our lives when in fact if we can find our way into the presence of God and stay there long enough, God will reveal His will to us. Is is just me or do we all seem to try to make things happen? How many times must I make myself learn the lesson that I have no power to make things happen. It's in God's hands and the lesson I have to learn over and over is to submit my will to His will. Submission is sometimes confused with making sure I do my part. What I mean by this, is that I do not want to fall into the category of floating downstream and just going with whatever happens and calling that God's will. I know that God's people follow the cloud that leads them thru deserts, rivers, and mountains. There's quite a bit of struggling on our part but as long as we stay under the cloud, God will provide our every need. He will guide us through all of our trials and we will enter into the Promise Land to enjoy all that He has for us. Yeah, it's easier said than done. Sometimes we are just too quick to judge the Israelites for their foolishness in the wilderness. But aren't we just like them? God delivers us, we worship Him, we eventuall take Him for granted, He allows trouble to come our way to remind us who we are and who He is, then we pray for His deliverance, He delivers us, we worship, and the cycle continues... wow don't know where all that came from but let me get back to what God is doing for me.

My life crashed a few years ago when I allowed myself to get confused about where I was standing. I thought I was on solid ground and all the while I was drifting out to sea. Paul said, I Corinthians 9:27 But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. All the while that God was blessing me in the ministry that He so gracefully gave me, I was involved in a great battle of my soul, mind, and body. Someone once told me that mountains are not always diminished by earthquakes but in more cases they eroded over time by wind, rain, and the sands of time. It's almost like the devil continually throws pebbles at you, not enough to knock you down but just minor damage that you overlook and say to yourself, well, is that all you got, i'm still standing, still preaching, still praying. little do we understand that this minor damage is his masterplan to attack us little by little eroding away the mountain that God has blessed us to preserve and maintain.

All of a sudden, we shake ourselves like Samson and understand that we have lost the source of power that allows us to do great things for God. We shake ourselves again and again until we lose all hope of ever being that person who we were. It's a time of soul searching and it's very heart wrenching to look back at how many things we traded away during our time when we were out at sea. It reminds me of when Paul was on the ship in the midst of a hurricane, he said in Acts 27:19 ...we cast out with our own hands the tackling of the ship. sometimes in order for us to say alive, we have to cast out everything we own. it's a terrible feeling to be at sea, in the dark, in the storm, without hope, and now without anything but the clothes on our back. but these men were assured by Paul saying that he had heard from God and God had promised that He would save them. hmm.. guess i needed to write a few lines huh?

spent $350 dollars last week on getting my truck fixed. i didn't like that but God blessed me with some overtime hours at work that will help me get caught back up a little. I'm getting to work some overtime hours in the kitchen and i have to say it is truly refreshing to be in the company of such a great team that Eric has in the kitchen staff. My first day was awesome, he let me do prep work involving preparing several hundred pieces of french toast, bacon, and sausage. then i helped prepare 120 salads. tonight i worked again doing prepwork and got to work with a knife... woo hooo! yeah it felt really nice. i sliced and diced my way through cucumbers, tomatoes, and cilantro.

last year i started working in the grounds department, for the past few months i've been working in the IT department, and now i'm beginning to get to work some in the kitchen. it's all good, and my desire is to become a MOD. don't know what God has for me but it would be wonderful to work here and live on campus. It's ok to dream big because God can do anything and for now, besides having a family, my dream is to work here and live here.

planning on going to alabama this coming weekend to see my beautiful little boy. he's almost two and i love him "this much!" (arms stretched out as far as i can reach)

things that make me smile

noah loves driving and playing in my old truck and its definitely at the top of my smiling list. this pic is june 2010 and noah is 20 months old. he loves to wear a cap and is full of energy every moment he is awake. he is truly a joy that makes me want to live. every trip i make to see him, i think about the zac brown song, hwy 20 ride. when i'm not with him, i think about him constantly and its my desire to establish myself spiritually and financially so that i can hopefully be with him everyday and every
night.

Terrie is an excellent mother to Noah and is a full time student at Alabama Southern. We are both striving to do the right thing in our lives. One thing is for sure, we both agree that Noah is the most beautiful boy in the world!

this boy loves to eat and in this pic he's got a buttermilk biscuit that he helped me make. he loves to pretend cook and when i'm visiting, i always let him help me in the kitchen. he is so smart and lovable.

this expression is priceless! it looks like he is telling me "I got this driving thing under control"

here's a picture of noah with his glow worm and in his words, the"good book"

he loves seeing motorcycles so i got him this battery operated 4wheeler. the first day he rode it, he stayed on it till it got dark and we had to pry him off of it. he loves riding and calls it his tractor.

here's another one of those priceless expressions. he looks like he's in deep thought about what we can do next. he loves the outdoors and never seems to run out of energy. i love him so much!

this is his control room spot, he likes being in control of the radio. he'll turn it wide open and then look at me a grin, and start dancing and moving his head back and forth. yeah, that makes me smile...

he loves watermelon, can you tell?

noah has the "brushing your teeth thing" down to a science. thank's mom for keeping us both on the right track with our brushing skills.

it overwhelms me to see how much he loves me and i want to be a good father to him. i know God has a master plan and it's not for me to wonder why things are the way they are, but its my job to follow him and wait for him to open the door. there's no doubt in my mind that there's a better day coming for me and i will always cherish each moment i get to spend with my son.

one of my favorite pics

noah has the most incredible personality and an amazing way of always looking adoreable. this pic was taken when we were caught in the rain. it's one of my favorites. he'll be 2 years old in october and i get to see him every other weekend. it's not enough but my parents taught me a long time ago to make the best of what i have and when we're together, its non-stop action. he loves riding in my truck and playing outside. i love to hear him talk and say "daddy". it lights up my world!

i love working with tony walker here at WinShape Retreat. the Lord has once again placed me amongst a fellowship of Christian people that has been a great source of strength and guidance during a time in my life that i have felt lost and undone. one of my favortie quotes from the movie nacho libre, "I am the gatekeeper to my own destiny and I will have my glory day in the hot sun." it's a funny movie, another one of my favorites.

Life is good

...and it's getting better everyday. this picture was taken a few days ago when i went down to see my little boy. it's been a long eight months living 5 hours away from noah. it was necessary for me to walk thru this desert to find my forgiveness. i've been praying for God's forgiveness but what i had trouble with was my forgiveness. the other day i was listening to one of my favorite song groups (casting crowns) singing "east to west" and it reminded me that God's forgiveness is so divine that it is as though we have never sinned. it feels good to be able to believe myself when i say I am a good man, i am a good father, i am a christian, i am forgiven and i feel clean again.

God is sovereign which means he is in control. In John chapter 11 there's a story about lazarus getting sick and dying. Jesus purposely delayed his arrival until lazarus died. sometimes when we are in distress we want Jesus to hurry up when at times He will purposely delay His coming until things get worse. Martha said in John 11:21 "Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died..." and Jesus replied, "Thy brother shall rise again". Martha then said, "I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day" she said I know, signifying that she felt confident that she knew the scriptures.  Jesus said, "I am the resurrection"... in other words, He was asking, I know you know what the scriptures say, but do you know me? It didn't sound right for Jesus to say he was glad to not have been there when Lazarus died but He had a greater purpose for His delay. and that was to prove His sovereignty even when we think He should do otherwise.

Thank you God for loving me ;-)

A Clean Feeling

it was a nice day at church yesterday... it was the first time in a long time for me to feel clean and comfortable at church rather than feeling like i had mud all over me. God gave me a wonderful feeling that has replaced the one that the devil had caused me to feel. (like everyone was staring at me)

the chains that have kept me from raising my hands have been broken. i felt free to lift my voice in praise and it was a wonderful feeling to sing and play the piano. God has a way of mending us though it sometimes seems that we may never be the same. the thing that God wants us to see is that it's true we may never be the same but He has a way of making things better than they ever were.

it's hard for me to imagine how He can make things better, but i know He has proven it time and time again. i will be happy again, i will allow myself to make others happy, i have forgiven myself for hurting others, i have accepted God's forgiveness and know that He has cast my sins as far as the east is from the west. by his Grace it is as though i have never sinned.

no one has the right to look at me with disgust or dissappointment. i am but a fallible man that has been saved by the Grace of God. i am a good man but at times i err and at times i'm imperfect. i strive to be a perfect man but i understand that i am not perfect. i serve a God who is perfect and i strive to be like Him (Matthew 5:48). one day i will lay this body down and on that day, i will be perfected (I Corinthians 15:54). but until then, it is a perfecting process.

as silver is heated, the dross and imperfections rise to the surface. the process is to remove what rises to the surface and then reheat the silver until it becomes pure. it's not easy going thru the process but the outcome will be worth going thru the fiery trial. getting rid of the worldliness that lies within us is imperitive for us to have a clean feeling.

I Peter 4:12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: [v.13] But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

i am looking forward to what great things God has in store for me and the ones i love. He is in control of my income, my shelter, my transportation, my work, and my family. it is my desire to become a vessel of honor, prepared for every good work. it is only then that i will be the best person that i can be. i am truly a good man when i am God's man.

II Timothy 2:20 But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour. [v.21] If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, [and] prepared unto every good work.