it was a nice day at church yesterday... it was the first time in a long time for me to feel clean and comfortable at church rather than feeling like i had mud all over me. God gave me a wonderful feeling that has replaced the one that the devil had caused me to feel. (like everyone was staring at me)
the chains that have kept me from raising my hands have been broken. i felt free to lift my voice in praise and it was a wonderful feeling to sing and play the piano. God has a way of mending us though it sometimes seems that we may never be the same. the thing that God wants us to see is that it's true we may never be the same but He has a way of making things better than they ever were.
it's hard for me to imagine how He can make things better, but i know He has proven it time and time again. i will be happy again, i will allow myself to make others happy, i have forgiven myself for hurting others, i have accepted God's forgiveness and know that He has cast my sins as far as the east is from the west. by his Grace it is as though i have never sinned.
no one has the right to look at me with disgust or dissappointment. i am but a fallible man that has been saved by the Grace of God. i am a good man but at times i err and at times i'm imperfect. i strive to be a perfect man but i understand that i am not perfect. i serve a God who is perfect and i strive to be like Him (Matthew 5:48). one day i will lay this body down and on that day, i will be perfected (I Corinthians 15:54). but until then, it is a perfecting process.
as silver is heated, the dross and imperfections rise to the surface. the process is to remove what rises to the surface and then reheat the silver until it becomes pure. it's not easy going thru the process but the outcome will be worth going thru the fiery trial. getting rid of the worldliness that lies within us is imperitive for us to have a clean feeling.
I Peter 4:12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: [v.13] But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.
i am looking forward to what great things God has in store for me and the ones i love. He is in control of my income, my shelter, my transportation, my work, and my family. it is my desire to become a vessel of honor, prepared for every good work. it is only then that i will be the best person that i can be. i am truly a good man when i am God's man.
II Timothy 2:20 But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour. [v.21] If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, [and] prepared unto every good work.
