i can finally say that my storm has passed. it is as though a calm breeze blowing in my life and God is transforming me. God has freed me from all my anxiety and fear. He has replaced my broken heart with a brand new heart and i know that i know that i know my redemption is sure. this past Sunday, it felt as though God was sitting beside me as i wept tears of joy. i stood there thinking it was the first time in a long time that i was not weeping from guilt and regret.
i've been staying with some friends that is teaching me that the blessings never run out as long as we keep giving them away. it's an amazing feeling to feel safe and loved. God has revealed Himself thru my friends Terry and Theta. i'm reminded of the story in 2Kings where their was a couple who provided a room for Elisha. it's amazing to know that God loves me this much to allow me to stay with such Godly people that love God this much.
i've finished reading Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon, and almost thru reading Jerimiah. the more i read the cleaner i feel and it has removed all stress from me. there is a peace that clings to me and it's reassuring me that God has a plan. it's given me a new confidence in my walk with God, with myself, and with my relationship with my beautiful Terrie.
God has restored and repaired the brokeness of my heart. He has given me a new vision and hope for the future. Every morning when i wake up there is an expectation of what God is doing in my life and in the life of the ones i love. i know God is preparing me for His purpose. i know He loves me and sees something in me that is usable.
Before Christmas He asked me what i wanted and i told him that i wanted to be a part of Terrie and Noah's life. I wanted my family, i wanted to be able to be with them all the time.. to have the opportunity to love Terrie and stand beside her. to be able to go to sleep and wake up with my Terrie and my Noah. it was as though i could feel the Lord smiling at me, assuring me that He wanted to give this to me even more than i could imagine.
God has promised if we are faithful and obedient that He will give us the desires of our heart. more than anything in this world, i want to be with my family. i can see more clearly now that the path to lead me there is called faithfulness and obedience.
