falling down is the easy part

david was a man after God's own heart, but he also was drawn away by his sinful nature which caused a lot of pain. yet david's life did not end there, he walked on. falling down is a part of life... it's the way i learned how to ride a bike, a horse, a pogo stick, and a unicycle. falling down has always come natural but it's the getting up that comes from a determination not to give up or give in. it's a characteristic that was instilled in me from my parents. i'm not afraid of getting dirty, working hard, and investing all that i have in the ones i love.

my life has taken a lot of falls and getting back up has been hard to do. its not easy to face the truth sometimes, especially when you've given your heart to someone to have it broken. love is a wonderful thing but when its misguided it can lead you into some very dark places and make you think that things will never change.

God has loved me all of my life as long as i can remember. He has watched over me even when i was not watching Him. He has enabled me to lead others to the Cross and allowed me to walk in the paths of righteousness. He has also allowed me to fall away from His path to find myself lost in my own failures. He's allowed my life to become broken and lifeless but not hopeless.

this year could very well be the best year of my life. it could possibly erase all the pain that has pushed me in the darkness and inprisoned me. i believe that God is able to take what is left of me and bless it to make something that can be used to bring Him glory. i can almost hear samson say, "if i could only be used one more time to bring glory to God". i can almost hear david say, if i could but drink one more time from the well which is at bethlehem.. david was in a cave and could hear the roaring battle in the distance, but when he asked for a drink of water, he really didn't want a bucket of water from the well... he wanted to bring glory to God. he was referring to the time in his life when he was strong in the Lord and when he was a man after God's own heart that brought glory to God.

david was a great man, a good man, a man after God's own heart. a man that sought God early and a man that said he would not be satisfied until he awoke in the likeness of God. in otherwords, david was saying that his goal was to bring glory to God and to find a way to be in His presence.

it has felt like i have been battling for my life, my joy, and my fatherhood to my beautiful little boy. i love you Noah more than words could ever say. i want to be in your life and i want you to be in my life. i miss you little buddy, it was so good to be able to talk to you on the phone, i loved hearing you say that you loved me. i love you too and i promise our day is coming soon. when it does, there's no doubt we'll have so much fun with lots of laughing and playing. it will be a good day for sure!